The outcome... not in-between.

Carrie and I were talking last night about an unrealized dream she has.  During our conversation she told me that she was nervous to share the idea with me because of how I would react.  In fact, she did her research on the topic, so she was prepared to share with me. I was overwhelmed with guilt.  This is my wife, the solid, "stable" one of our marriage.  Yet, she, because of me, felt it necessary to prepare her presentation about an unrealized dream.  It sounds, on the surface, good that there was preparation... however, my wife is supposed to, because I create an environment of openness, be able to share her dreams with me, regardless of their state of germination.  That is not the case.  I realize that my initial reaction to hearing ideas, especially from Carrie, focus intently on the in-between, the method and not the dream.  While the method is important, focusing on the outcome, as I do with my own ideas and dreams, lends support and enables me to be a part of Carries dreams, not a nay sayer stuck on the details.  I, at every opportunity, will support and assist Carrie in achieving her dreams, by focusing on the outcome and not the in-between.

I good friend said something recently when Carrie and I were dealing with intense pain, she said "I'm happy with you when you're happy and I'm sad with you when you're sad."  I didn't quite get the depth of her statement initially.  However, after reflecting on it for weeks, I've begun to understand the statement and interpret its meaning more fully.  To me it says... accepting someone as they are, in whatever state they exist, loving them fully, regardless of joy or sadness.