In Case You're Wondering...

My Dream...

What is it that Jesse is referring to in the previous post?

I got my undergrad degree in fine art, with a concentration in photography. A lot of people are surprised by this because for the past 6 years I've worked at a bank and now in accounting at a non-profit.

However, when I was probably 10 or 11, I saved UPC codes to get a 110mm camera from Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. I was so excited when it finally came in the mail! I took pictures of everything, squirrels running up the tree, our creek, my face, whatever. In high school, I always enjoyed the art classes I took, they weren't just a "blow off" class like they were for most people. I loved creating collages for gifts, homemade greeting cards, and doodling on everything.

When I got to college, I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I even worked at a Montessori school for a year but soon realized elementary was not where I wanted to be. Then I switched my major to business. I was working at a bank and they would help pay for it, so why not?! While loaded down with coursework I despised, micro-economics, business law, macro-economics, yuck, yuck, yuck... I took a beginning photography course for fun. It was then I realized I was actually pretty good at it! My professor encouraged me to take another course, and Jesse (we were just dating at the time) was very encouraging as well for me to pursue art, buying me a drawing pad and pencil set for either Valentine's Day or my birthday... Anyway, I soon decided to switch majors again - to Fine Art this time. Surprisingly, my parents even let me do it!

Almost 7 years later, I haven't done much with it - a few paintings for friends and family, some photographs for graduating seniors and friends bands, a wedding, stuff for church and work - but I've been feeling the desire to do something more the past year.

I've finally decided to pursue my dream once again... I want to go back to school to get my MFA with the intentions of one day being an art professor. It may take me years to do it, and I'm not sure where I'll go (there aren't any local schools down here that offer an MFA), but I will do it!

For now, I'm taking a painting course at the Lynchburg Academy of Fine Art to get back into the swing of things and I'm being more intentional about painting and drawing in my spare time.

I was nervous to tell Jesse about this because he wanted me to stick with accounting, the practical career. But it's not one I want to do forever, and I felt like I was living his dream - not mine. He's been very encouraging ever since then and wants to see me pursue it. "Your dream is my dream" is what he said to me. What an awesome thing to hear from the one you love!

Here are some of my older drawings, paintings, and photography. I don't have any photographs of my newer stuff yet.

The outcome... not in-between.

Carrie and I were talking last night about an unrealized dream she has.  During our conversation she told me that she was nervous to share the idea with me because of how I would react.  In fact, she did her research on the topic, so she was prepared to share with me. I was overwhelmed with guilt.  This is my wife, the solid, "stable" one of our marriage.  Yet, she, because of me, felt it necessary to prepare her presentation about an unrealized dream.  It sounds, on the surface, good that there was preparation... however, my wife is supposed to, because I create an environment of openness, be able to share her dreams with me, regardless of their state of germination.  That is not the case.  I realize that my initial reaction to hearing ideas, especially from Carrie, focus intently on the in-between, the method and not the dream.  While the method is important, focusing on the outcome, as I do with my own ideas and dreams, lends support and enables me to be a part of Carries dreams, not a nay sayer stuck on the details.  I, at every opportunity, will support and assist Carrie in achieving her dreams, by focusing on the outcome and not the in-between.

I good friend said something recently when Carrie and I were dealing with intense pain, she said "I'm happy with you when you're happy and I'm sad with you when you're sad."  I didn't quite get the depth of her statement initially.  However, after reflecting on it for weeks, I've begun to understand the statement and interpret its meaning more fully.  To me it says... accepting someone as they are, in whatever state they exist, loving them fully, regardless of joy or sadness.