Merry Christmas - 2012

Wow! Has a year really gone by? Well, here it is again... Christmas and time for our annual Christmas card featuring Corbett!

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Merry Christmas Everyone!

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Wehaddababy Itzaboy

Corbett Alexander West born July 1st, 2011 at 1 am. Isn't he cute??

In Case You're Wondering...

My Dream...

What is it that Jesse is referring to in the previous post?

I got my undergrad degree in fine art, with a concentration in photography. A lot of people are surprised by this because for the past 6 years I've worked at a bank and now in accounting at a non-profit.

However, when I was probably 10 or 11, I saved UPC codes to get a 110mm camera from Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. I was so excited when it finally came in the mail! I took pictures of everything, squirrels running up the tree, our creek, my face, whatever. In high school, I always enjoyed the art classes I took, they weren't just a "blow off" class like they were for most people. I loved creating collages for gifts, homemade greeting cards, and doodling on everything.

When I got to college, I thought I wanted to be a teacher. I even worked at a Montessori school for a year but soon realized elementary was not where I wanted to be. Then I switched my major to business. I was working at a bank and they would help pay for it, so why not?! While loaded down with coursework I despised, micro-economics, business law, macro-economics, yuck, yuck, yuck... I took a beginning photography course for fun. It was then I realized I was actually pretty good at it! My professor encouraged me to take another course, and Jesse (we were just dating at the time) was very encouraging as well for me to pursue art, buying me a drawing pad and pencil set for either Valentine's Day or my birthday... Anyway, I soon decided to switch majors again - to Fine Art this time. Surprisingly, my parents even let me do it!

Almost 7 years later, I haven't done much with it - a few paintings for friends and family, some photographs for graduating seniors and friends bands, a wedding, stuff for church and work - but I've been feeling the desire to do something more the past year.

I've finally decided to pursue my dream once again... I want to go back to school to get my MFA with the intentions of one day being an art professor. It may take me years to do it, and I'm not sure where I'll go (there aren't any local schools down here that offer an MFA), but I will do it!

For now, I'm taking a painting course at the Lynchburg Academy of Fine Art to get back into the swing of things and I'm being more intentional about painting and drawing in my spare time.

I was nervous to tell Jesse about this because he wanted me to stick with accounting, the practical career. But it's not one I want to do forever, and I felt like I was living his dream - not mine. He's been very encouraging ever since then and wants to see me pursue it. "Your dream is my dream" is what he said to me. What an awesome thing to hear from the one you love!

Here are some of my older drawings, paintings, and photography. I don't have any photographs of my newer stuff yet.

The outcome... not in-between.

Carrie and I were talking last night about an unrealized dream she has.  During our conversation she told me that she was nervous to share the idea with me because of how I would react.  In fact, she did her research on the topic, so she was prepared to share with me. I was overwhelmed with guilt.  This is my wife, the solid, "stable" one of our marriage.  Yet, she, because of me, felt it necessary to prepare her presentation about an unrealized dream.  It sounds, on the surface, good that there was preparation... however, my wife is supposed to, because I create an environment of openness, be able to share her dreams with me, regardless of their state of germination.  That is not the case.  I realize that my initial reaction to hearing ideas, especially from Carrie, focus intently on the in-between, the method and not the dream.  While the method is important, focusing on the outcome, as I do with my own ideas and dreams, lends support and enables me to be a part of Carries dreams, not a nay sayer stuck on the details.  I, at every opportunity, will support and assist Carrie in achieving her dreams, by focusing on the outcome and not the in-between.

I good friend said something recently when Carrie and I were dealing with intense pain, she said "I'm happy with you when you're happy and I'm sad with you when you're sad."  I didn't quite get the depth of her statement initially.  However, after reflecting on it for weeks, I've begun to understand the statement and interpret its meaning more fully.  To me it says... accepting someone as they are, in whatever state they exist, loving them fully, regardless of joy or sadness.

My zen place.

On a very hot day about a week ago, I was watering the lawn.  To many it may seem as though I'm just watering the grass, however, watering is my zen place.  It's a time for me to unplug and think about this or that and sometimes nothing.  Anyways, while I was seated, watering, birds started landing on rocks in my landscape.  Cautiously, the birds slowly made their way to the ground that had been saturated, they were searching for worms.  One bird, a Cardinal, caught my attention because he wasn't after worms, he was after a shower.  As I sprayed the water in the direction of the Cardinal he began to spread his feathers, to wiggle and twist, almost like he was dancing.  I stood there quietly thanking God for the living illustration.  This little bird didn't know where he was going to get his next bath and I doubt he thought it would be from a big, ugly human!  I felt overwhelmed in the moment feeling God telling me, "I can take care of this little Cardinal and I can certainly take care of you."  After the Cardinal flew away I sat there thankful for what I experienced, thanking God for such a wonderful experience.  I never imagined that God would apply the illustration to my life so quickly.  However, when Carrie and I found out that our pregnancy wasn't progressing, I reflected on that moment in my backyard when God told me, "I can certainly take care of you."  My heart is broken now, but I believe and can see that God is true to His word and is caring for Carrie and I.

This is a hymn I've listened to dozens of times since our appointment.



I remember being stunned by what the doctor told us and then thinking, I need Thee every hour.

Extreme happiness : Extreme Pain

About a month ago, Carrie took a pregnancy test and it indicated pregnant.  I can't say that I was immediately excited as much as I was shocked, even though we were trying.  The idea of a baby sank in quickly and got me really excited to be a dad, but the reality of a baby was still far off.  I've found myself at times just thinking about what it would be like and how I would deal with a child.  However, for the most part it didn't seem real.  Carrie didn't have a protruding belly or much else in the way of visible hints.  So, while I was excited, I was also in a state of disbelief... a happy state of disbelief.

Here we are just after we found out we were pregnant...

Today, we went to the doctors for our first ultrasound. We were excited to hear hour child's heartbeat and move from disbelief to reality with this baby thing.  However, what we were told is that the baby didn't develop and that we will miscarriage.  When I heard that it didn't really sink... my overwhelming desire was to focus completely on Carrie.  I feel like God placed in me (possibly men in general) an override switch that is guiding me  to support Carrie and deal with this heavy burden, together.  Our hearts are broken.  It amazes me how one can quickly go from a far off feeling, more an idea,  to absolute pain and overwhelming sadness.  Our pregnancy is all of a sudden so real.  I've known pain before, but it has rarely been so close to home.  

When I went to Haiti and witnessed the death and destruction, it made an impact, but it wasn't my family members that died... I was detached from their sadness, instead, I overwhelmed by the image I saw of myself.  I saw my reflection in Haiti, not the person that people see, it was unmasked and dirty.  All of my jealous desires, unreasonable expectations, mean spirited fun, and all around prick, were slapped in my face by the experience of watching people mourn for their lost loved one.  What God showed me in Haiti was how selfish and self-centered I am.... and how that effects my relationships, especially with Carrie.  But the experience of Haiti also encouraged me to look within and deal with my issues more thoroughly.  I can't help but think the tremendous fallout after was to prepare me to deal with the pain of losing my first child.I love her so much and am broken by her sorrow.  

I know God will get us through this and we'll be stronger because of it.  So cliche.

Haiti Pt. 1 - Initial Experience

I've heard it said that there are moments in peoples lives, defining moments, that shape us into who we are. It's not something I had ever given much thought or consideration to until recently. On January 12th one of the biggest natural disasters in recent history struck the impoverish nation of Haiti. My job took me to Haiti less than a week after the earthquake, which killed over 250,000 people. Bodies were still on the streets, little food or water had been distributed, and in parts of Port-au-Prince chaos reined. I'll never forget the heavy, almost palpable smell of death. In my excitement for the opportunity I didn't put a second thought into it when the opportunity presented itself to go and help. In fact, I went down excited to experience the situation. To say I was unprepared is totally inadequate. I didn't have a clue what I was getting into, if I did I probably wouldn't have gone. A couple months removed from the experience and having a chance to catch my breath and begin processing the experience, I can say I'd do it again and the same way. There were a couple of moments, possibly defining moments, that I'd like to share and also say a few words about the fallout in my personal life after I returned.

My first day in Haiti was spent driving around in a white van, imagine a VW bus and you'll have a good mental picture. The bus driver was from the Dominican Republic and the interpreter, Lou, lived in the DR but was from Haiti. Lou's wife and young daughter lived in Port-au-Prince. The first moment that really made an impact on me was towards the end of the first day. As we were driving down a crowded street with building after building down or standing but destroyed I looked out the window to my right, there, not 4 feet from me, was the naked, lifeless body of a man that looked to be about 40 years old. I froze. I'd like to say I was courageous but that would be a lie. I sat in the van hardly able to breath, lost all color, and seriously feared for my life.

As we continued further down the road we came upon a scene that is pretty etched in my memory...

Notice, in the photo below, two guys in the foreground holding a rope as motorcycles are coming towards them... why are they doing that?  This was the first time in my life that I genuinely felt like things were out of my control. In this moment I asked God, out of fear, to get me out of this. I felt helpless and afraid. I must say that seeing the body in the street and then coming up on this scene put me into sensory overload. My mind shutdown the systems that weren't a necessity. Had it not been for my friend sitting next to me shouting, "F***ING BREATH!" i'm not sure what I would have done... it snapped me back to reality. Looking back on the experience, this was really the only time I felt a real fear. In the moment, I didn't think we were going to make it out alive. I know it sounds over-the-top but it was a genuine feeling. We kept driving down block after block of devastated buildings.

Another moment that really struck me was at my hotel in the DR. I had come out of Haiti and was with my interpreter. We were walking into the hotel and Lou says to me in very broken english, "my life is very difficult, please help me." Of everything we saw and smelled, this is what spoke to my heart the most and overwhelmed me emotionally when I returned to the US. What Lou said didn't really set in. But when I got home and Carrie and I were driving home the drop-off point, I broke down. It just kept replaying in my head... please help me, please help me, please help... I once again felt completely helpless and hopeless. Here I was back in the US on my way home with virtually anything I wanted at my fingertips and my interpreter is in the same situation as when I left the DR. It broke my heart. I felt selfish and unworthy of all God has given Carrie and I.

I believe that my God allowed me to take in all the sites and sounds of Haiti and store them in my brain for processing at a later time. He knew that I couldn't deal with all at once or I would have had a similar experience as in the van. However, as the weeks and months have passed since the experience I've had numerous moments of clarity. God is using the experience to speak a lot of truth into my life. I went to Haiti a selfish, complaining, ungrateful jerk and came out, I think at least, a little less selfish, a little more grateful, but still a jerk.

Lou with his family for the first time in months.

I'll share more later.

Arts and Crafts

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged. My friend Deb of Simply Mae inspired me to post a little today...

I've had a few art projects as of late and thought I'd share them.

The girls in my community group and I got together one Saturday and spent over 3 hours painting pottery at All Fired Up (my dad's favorite place now when he visits us). I had a blast and am very pleased with my travel mug. The design took lots of patience and a very steady hand!

Next project was a little night stand I found at the Estate Specialist (I love that place). It was originally a dingy, peeling white. I wish I had a before picture, but I never think of that until it's too late... Anyway, I stripped the paint and stained it an antique walnut. It fits perfectly in our guest room!

On that same trip, I also found the adorable white porcelain lamp. I love it! Oh, and that owl is a cross-stitch I made when I was probably 13.

When we were snowed in (for the second time), I made a collage out of Jesse's cigar labels. He collects the labels from all his cigars and also collects them from friends, and even people he doesn't like. One year, we decorated a table top for his step-dad and have been wanting to make something else ever since then. This will end up in Jesse's man-cave.

I love how elaborate and beautiful some of the labels are.

That's all for now. Hopefully, I will not wait 3 months to post again.

Snow Day!!

Wow! This snow sure took us by surprise! Sure, they'd been calling for it all day and the previous day, but how many times have we actually had the snow that's expected?

As the snow began to fall Friday night, we invited our community group over for some pizza, snacks and games. We all watched in amazement as the snow kept coming, and coming... Two of the couples left together and called us about 20 minutes later - they only made it halfway down the street and were stuck! They started walking back with plans to crash with us for the night, but some friendly stranger with 4-wheel drive stopped and took them home. It's nice to hear good samaritans like that still exist today.

Jesse and I stayed up until the wee hours of the night, enjoying the fire and watching the snow fall....

Saturday morning arrived and it was STILL SNOWING!! Jesse measured and estimates we got about 15 inches. Unbelievable!! I haven't seen that much snow in a really long time.

It really is a Winter Wonderland. Madi loves the snow and jumped right in, whereas Rummy stood on the porch shivering. I didn't want to embarrass him by posting a picture, he tries to come across as a manly dog.

So, what do you do when you're snowed in?? Jesse and Scott played Xbox 360 pretty much all day long and then went to the neighbor's and played pool for awhile. I, on the hand, painted part of our living room. It took me pretty much all day long. The color is Smoky Blue and it covers 3 walls. I'll be finishing the rest over New Year vacation (hopefully). The other color is called Prelude and is a lighter shade of blue. I'll post more pictures when everything is complete and the house is put back together!

Merry Christmas

We wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year!

Love, Jesse and Carrie

Fun with Sharon and Charie Rose

Sharon and Charie Rose are on the West Coast Team of the Children of the World Choir. Once the tour begins, they usually don't make it back to Virginia until the end. This year, however, they were able to perform with Steven Curtis Chapman in Tennessee and then they came to Lynchburg to perform at Thomas Road Baptist Church. So, we got to have a few days with the girls again. I had such a great time with these two special girls. We played at Kids Cove at TRBC, went to the pet store, saw G-Force at the dollar show, went to Cold Stone Creamery (where the girls made disgusting concoctions and therefore proceeded to eat my ice-cream instead of their own), and drew lots and lots of pictures. It was hard to say good-bye again knowing I won't see them again until June. :(

Fake dogs outside of TRBC (why??)

Our fridge is covered in their beautiful drawings right now!

Me and Charie Rose

Me and Sharon

Our Yard

In a recent post, you saw Jesse cutting down the 2 dying cherry trees our yard. I was sad to see them go. Jesse had more plans for our yard though, and for this, I am excited! We have a retaining wall in our yard that was made out of cinder block (side 1) and railroad ties (side 2). Side 1 was slowly starting to fall over because whoever put it in didn't do it right. It looked terrible. So we tore out the wall and are having a new stone wall and paver patio put in, complete with a walkway to our back shed. Here are some pictures of the progress so far:

Side 1 wall removed and land prepared for pavers

Side 2 wall removed

The area directly behind our deck has always been uneven and hole-filled. As Jesse was clearing the area for the walkway, he came across what turned into a HUGE project: The retaining wall behind the deck was one 6x6 that was rotting away and some more crumbling cinderblock. Dirt was slowly sliding past it underneath our deck, thus the reason for the holes. Jesse spent all evening fixing this, working well into the night. Our neighbor's friend helped him place the new 6x6's. I helped carry them from the truck though (She-Ra!).

Measuring depth to make sure new wall will fit

Working into the night...

New wall in place

A job well done!

Next up was digging out the path for the walkway. We all pitched in and worked this time

digging the line

dig, dig, dig!

I told you, I'm She-Ra!

new pathway

Finally, I have some pictures of the progress made so far on the new retaining walls and patio. It's gonna look good!!

Side 1 new wall and pavers

Side 1

Stairs on Side 2 and part of new wall

We'll post more soon!

Experimenting...

Earlier this week, we had Mariam from the Children of the World stay with us for 2 nights. She had to have hernia surgery earlier in the month and was staying behind until she fully recovered and was able join back with her team today.

The first night I asked Mariam what she would like for dinner, and she requested spaghetti. That's easy enough, until I discovered I was out of spaghetti sauce! I remembered all the frozen roma tomatoes from our garden I had in our freezer, and the green peppers we just picked and decided to make my own rather than run to the store. It was my first attempt at homemade spaghetti sauce, and I think it turned out pretty well. Mariam liked it at least!

homemade spaghetti sauce with turkey meatballs

Mariam

For my next meal, I decided to try to make Panang Curry, one of my favorite Thai dishes. I didn't have all of the necessary ingredients, so I had to improvise a little... I'd love to tell you what I did, but I can't remember now! I was happy with the way it turned out. Jesse said he didn't care for it, but he said the same thing when he ate it from Thai 99, so I counted it as success!

Unfortunately, with both of these meals since I was just "winging it" I didn't write everything down! I don't think I'll ever be able to recreate them!